satirical poem I wrote about law, meant to amuse those in the industry who understand the funnier narcissistic side of law.
The Art of Law
The market creaks, the money awakes — so long it’s been in slumber,
The M&A teams get prepped; a world is ready for plunder.
The Investment Banker hits the phone, a new deal is to be done,
And so the market is alive again and law is on the run.
New suit, new pants, new shirt and tie — a handshake and smile,
‘What deal can I assist you with today kind sir? — i’ll walk a country mile,
Funds management, restructuring, IP or project finance?
The more I can provide you with, the more that we can dance.’
The money flows, the deals get done,
A toast, a cheers, a bravo!
A new house, a new car, another holiday –
It’s all part of the show.
The regulators twist and turn, the boom is in full swing,
The cash is flowing, companies are so pleased — surely not a time to step in?
‘Free market, free rein, self management — no policies defeated,
Why bother the legislator, when no regulation is needed!’
The margin hits, the bankers bust — they no longer meet the call,
The phone calls start, something’s amiss — don’t tell me of a fall!
It’s now insolvencies turn to shine, the pessimists fine show,
Bankruptcy, debt and receivership — the world does not yet know.
The newspapers hit the streets — the populous roars with anger,
‘It’s the bankers and their god-dam risks — their salaries and their squander!’
The Government screams ‘it’s no time for blame, let’s try and fix the problem’,
They make promises of transformations only to deepen our debt for longer.
The law firm shifts, the parties stop — the champagne fountains halter,
‘It would be unruly of us to continue in this light’ — says one truly pompous partner.
‘As while times get tough around the world, and the deal flow stream dries up,
The insolvency practice is our new success, our knight in shining armour.’
The market slows, production halts and companies shut for good,
The cycle has hit the bottom again, time for a recessionary hood.
And quietly in the background, against all the market changes,
The law firm is engaged again — this time for spades and aces.
The work pours in, the candle burns — insolvency stares down the hours,
While the entire M&A Team sleeps soundly, without so much as even a cower.
The billing rate does not stop, it counts against the clock,
The firm a presence recessionary proof — the law clearly is not.
– by Tim Davis (Feb, 2009)